Can I Have A Direct Cremation Memorial Service At A Golf Club?
Can I Have A Memorial Service At A Golf Club?
Let me tell you about John…
Friendly, positive, and outgoing. His big persona always came before him when John entered the 19th hole at the golf club. His infectious and instantly recognisable laugh would fill the room, bouncing around like a drive on a frozen fairway.
Everyone knew John. John had been a member of the golf club for so many years. He was almost a permanent feature. So his sudden and unexpected death shocked everyone.
When his family choose a direct cremation and held a memorial service at the golf club, it seemed the most respectful, appropriate and meaningful way to celebrate his life. After all, they would have met there after his funeral service, anyway. Choosing instead, they wanted to hold a memorial service at his favourite place to spend his leisure time. It seemed a perfect way to say goodbye. A truly special way to celebrate his life.
DOES THE STORY OF A FUNERAL SERVICE BEING HELD AT A GOLF CLUB SOUND SURPRISING TO YOU?
It shouldn’t. And it won’t if the changes we are seeing in saying goodbye to a loved one continues to grow. How we mark the death of those we love, where we attend those rituals, is changing fast.
A growing number of families are rejecting old rituals. I wrote about this recently in my newsletter, Is Direct Disrupting The Legacy of Funerals in the UK Forever?
What’s changing around funerals then?
Launched back in 2015, Pure Cremation™ wanted to challenge the prejudices around funeral traditions. To give families the choice of a simple, dignified option at an affordable price. So successful have they been in bringing the phrase Pure Cremation™ into the common language, it’s now almost synonymous with the phrase, ‘direct cremation.’
It’s important to say your local independent funeral directors, and national funeral companies, also offer the same service. So do many other online firms.
How many people choose this option arranging a service following a death?
Around 1 in 5 funerals, choose this latest option. Partly because of the pandemic, 2021 saw a dramatic increase in the choice. And among those who people who organised a funeral in the last 18 months (during the pandemic), 24% described the funeral this way. (From Cost of dying Report 2022 - Sun Life)
So what is direct cremation?
“1 in 5 funerals, choose direct cremation”
Direct cremation is taking a deceased loved one to the crematorium without a funeral ceremony. This leaves the family an option to choose to celebrate their loved ones’ life by holding a ‘Celebration of Life’ service at a different venue.
In the past, for the religious, the location was perhaps at a church. Or more common these days at a crematorium. Now the options are endless.
Research suggests this way of saying goodbye to the deceased enables families to commemorate and remember their loved ones in meaningful yet different ways. Some families say attending a memorial or ‘Celebration of Life’ service afterwards eases the shock of losing a loved one rather than trying to arrange a funeral service at the same time.
But isn’t having some kind of ritual to say goodbye to our loved ones important in dealing with grief and bereavement?
For many people, COVID took the choice from them during the pandemic. Online funerals, live streamed services helped, but something was still missing. I believe in the importance of sharing grief when coming together as a community of family and friends to celebrate a loved one. I think that’s why many families are choosing even months later to still gather and say a last farewell to their loved one through a memorial service months or even years after they have died.
What is a ‘Celebration of Life’ service?
A service following a direct cremation is often called a ‘Celebration of Life’ service.
These are more informal, and often non-religious. These gatherings to celebrate the life of a loved one can include music and poems, but always have a eulogy or tribute spoken on the day. They can also, of course, include prayers or Bible readings.
The tone and feel of the service is more one of remembering what made the person unique and special without the location solemnity of a church or crematorium. That’s why research is finding memorial services at private venues or a favorite location is becoming more popular and commonplace.
Can I have a direct cremation ‘Celebration of Life’ service at a golf club, or other private venues?
Yes, that’s what many people are choosing today. Just as much as most other event venues, even hotels are now specialising in Celebration of Life packages. Having a time to remember and create something special in a favourite spot. Gathering on a hillside or the local park, even these locations offer the opportunity to say a few words at a memorial service.
Why should I consider this option?
One benefit of holding a memorial service or ‘Celebration of Life’ at a golf club is it feels much more informal. People are more willing to stand up and say a few words about how special the person was to them. Delivering a tribute or eulogy at a memorial service in a golf club feels less daunting than standing at a lectern in a crematorium or pulpit in a church. You get to choose who attends the event as well.
My ‘Celebration of Life’ or memorial eulogy writing packages can help friends or family find the right words to say to celebrate the life of their loved one. I can write the words to be informal, authentic and personal, bringing back memories and recalling their life in a place they loved. We can even plan what music or readings could be appropriate. Check out the packages I offer here. Memorable Words Eulogy Writing Services.
So while it may still seem unusual or untraditional to hold a memorial or ‘Celebration of Life’ at a golf club, today, soon it will feel a commonplace way of saying farewell to a loved one.
Photos by mk. s & Laura Louise Grimsley & Debby Hudson on Unsplash
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